Sunday, March 18, 2007

Learning to Fly

At the moment I am facing a health scare and I am not very comfortable. I am not comfortable with hospitals, needles, navigating through uncharted waters or being out of control! I am not comfortable dealing with doctors in an unfamiliar land with language and cultural barriers. I could allow myself to be consumed by the pounding waves of fear and doubt or to drown in a sea of self pity, OR … I can choose trust.

What exactly is trust? Well, its certainly not Pollyanna syndrome – its not denial hidden behind a mask of spirituality. Trust is choosing to focus and letting go. It is holding up your hands and surrendering yourself and fears or worries, knowing that HIS hands are sure. I am so glad that I have a God who loves me and who has ALWAYS proven himself trustworthy.

The fact that God is trustworthy does not mean that as a Christian, I get a free pass to easy street and a cushy life. Nope. It does mean that I have the assurance he is on the throne, he is in control and that he has his hand upon me.

One of the things that I have learnt in life is that we have life lessons. Some of these are one-offs and others are cyclical. (Picture a spring.) This means that we learn a lesson and lay a foundation and then we learn the lesson again – adding more to the foundation each time. When I was younger I used to beat myself up and think that this meant I had not learnt the lessons. Now, I realise that I am on an ascending spiral. I learn the lesson and as I continue to grow and move upwards, I encounter it again and again. Each time, God is asking me to trust more … take bigger steps and enlarge. Isaiah 54 tells us to enlarge the place of our tent and stretch out. This should not come as a surprise, as God is a God of enlargement. Stretching is uncomfortable. It even hurts!

God knew this season in my life was coming. He is not surprised. It has not caught him off guard or unaware. Therefore, he has a plan and a purpose and I have choices to make.

Today, I choose to turn my face to him and practice TRUST. And maybe, just maybe … in this act of trust, I will find freedom and fly.


mandy foster said...

trust is a difficult lesson especially when faced with choices even when easy or hard. i am glad to know that i am not the only person who is struggling to trust. trust God's plan and all knowing. sometimes the act of trust can be liberating and other times it is can become the most difficult option. when i think of letting go and trusting God i often visualize a hand that has a white knuckled grip on a rope that dangles over a large, open blue sky. nothing below but great wide space of wonder. when i choose to let go and trust i am reminded that the net of faith always appears and God always shows up. why do i doubt that He will? is it fear? the fear of the unknown to us, but as mentioned God knows.

trust takes discipline and the childish feeling of being able to have no fear.

leap and the net with appear no matter how scary the jump may be.

Anonymous said...

Hi.....don't know who you are but like your blog...and the fact you linked to me!...Pray that all will be well for you...warmly, Phil Baker

Danifesto said...

Oh dear! As you know I'm a little behind in my blog reading! Sorry to hear about your health. I like what you had to say though about trust. Much easier said than done! However this "blessed assurance" really does bring me comfort and I think it makes a difference btwn myself and others who try to go it alone. :(