Be. Still.

"Be still and know that I am God"

Ps 46:10

The Message puts this scripture another way.  "Step out of the traffic!  Take a long, loving look at me, your High God, above politics, above everything".

Most of us are familiar with this scripture.  But sometimes, we skim over without taking time to dig down deep and really know what it is talking about.  Lets break it down and have a look.  

Still  - comes from the Hebrew word Raphah.  This word means:-

to sink, relax, sink down, let drop; sink, relax, abate; relax, withdraw;  to let drop, abandon, relax, refrain, forsake, let go; to be quiet.

Wow.  There is so much in this one word.  When I read the word "sink", I think of a load off, just sinking down and breathing out a long sigh, "aahhh" - the weight is off and I can stop.  

The idea of abate and withdraw is also a strong one.  This coming school year, I am on Sabbatical.  This means I have a year away from work, (I will be continuing with my Masters study).  So right now, I resonate strongly with those words abate and withdraw.  I know for sure that this is a big part of what Sabbatical is about for me personally.  I can't even describe how insane my life has been.  This past year particularly so.  Between working, studying and chairing our Dongdaewon campaign, I have reached the end of myself. I have nothing in me to give right now and I am running on empty.  My tanks have not been this low for about 12 and a half years - when I finished my ministry internship.  To have a year out of the madness is a gift, and not one I intend to squander.  It is almost a detoxifying process for me.  

I have been caught up of the mad roundabout of life ... spinning faster and faster.  The roundabout has been a blur, the music is frenzied, there is a whine in the engine and smoke is billowing.   And I, am empty.  Completely empty.  Right now, I don't even know how to draw close to God.  He has never left,   but I have never stopped and that busy-ness is seriously damaging to relationships, including our one with God.  

This year is a time to be still ... a time to recharge and meet with my God.  When I reach the end of my Sabbatical and look back, above all else, I want to be able to say that I was still and that I KNOW my God.  I have a lot of thoughts sparking this morning on all of this, and I will be posting them here as i pick them apart over the days to come.

For now ... I am just going to sink and go "aaaahhhh".